At some point in your life you may realize that things have suddenly started falling apart. You’re disoriented, out of touch, and exposed emotionally. The beliefs that used to ground you no longer hold. Now you are no longer listening to the dreams you have been chasing. It’s like the lights have gone out inside your heart and soul and you’re fumbling around in the dark, looking for something —but not even knowing what.
If so, you could be suffering what mystics and spiritual seekers refer to as “The Dark Night of the Soul.”
As scary as this can feel and as alone as it can make you feel, this is not a breakdown — it’s a spiritual sciatica in disguise. In this post, we’ll explore what the Dark Night of the Soul is, what it’s not, why it happens, and what you can do to courageously navigate it with grace, faith, and strength.
What Is the Dark Night of the Soul?
The term “Dark Night of the Soul” was coined by the 16th-century poem of the Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross, who described a state of intense spiritual crisis in which one experiences the pain of feeling abandoned by God, deprived of all spiritual comfort. But you don’t need to be religious to experience it.
The term is applied more loosely today to a concentrated period of inner emotional turmoil and spiritual desolation, sometimes as part of a more advanced spiritual epoch.
It’s not the same as clinical depression, but the two can seem awfully close. Depression tends to be a disease of chemical imbalances or psychological trauma, but the Dark Night of the Soul is a kind of existential malaise. It’s not sorrow for a life event; it’s sorrow for the shattering of identity, meaning and everything you once knew.
Signs You’re in the Dark Night of the Soul
If you don’t know whether this is you, here are some typical signs:
You are spiritually deserted or forsaken
It may seem as if the Universe, God, or your Higher Self has abandoned you. The very practices that used to bring you peace — such as meditation, prayer and journaling — now feel hollow at best or torturous at worst.
Life feels meaningless
But even though everything outwardly seems fine, you are filled with a deep emptiness inside. You might ask yourself: “Is any of this even worth it?”
You doubt yourself, your beliefs, who you are and what you’re here for.
You don’t feel connected to your old values, goals, or even relationships. You start to deconstruct your programmed self to find truth.
You deal with feelings as intense as yours.
Grief, sadness, anger, fear, and worry can ebb and flow — sometimes without reason. You may cry a lot, feel numb, or bounce around emotional states.
You feel alone, even among people
And it’s tough to describe what you are feeling. You might feel cut off, unseen or misunderstood, even by people close to you.
The Dark Night of the Soul, Why Does it Happen?
It feels like a collapse, the dark night, but it’s actually a purification. It is the ego dissolving, so that the soul can emerge. It’s not a punishment — it’s a spiritual initiation.
Here’s what is really going on below the surface:
Your ego identity (the “you” shaped by society, fear, trauma, expectation) is crumbling.
Illusions are being dissolved and torn away.
Your soul is steering you away from the illusion and toward the truth.
The Dark Night typically happens when you’re ready for a higher level of consciousness but are still fighting to let go of the old. That in-between state is what makes it hurt — the friction between what’s dying and what’s being born.
How Long Does It Last?
There is no set timeline. For others, it goes on for weeks, or even months. For others, it may last years. The length is up to your resistance, your readiness to surrender and the path of your soul.
But here’s the good news: It isn’t going to last forever. The night is long but dawn is sure. And when you do, you will come out the other end clearer, wiser, and more aligned with your true self.
How to Navigate the Dark Night of the Soul
Though this pace can’t be rushed, we can move through it with more grace and clarity. Here are additional strong ways to help yourself through the darkness:
The Best Option Is to Bow, and Not to Resist
The harder you push through it, the more it hurts. Understand that you are in a season of change. Instead of saying, “How can I fix this?” just ask, “What does this teach me?” or “What is trying to fall away?
Let go of control. So stop needing to know all the answers. So fall apart — you’re being put back together.
Let go of your feelings without judgement
You will probably feel everything — grief, anger, fear, sadness, a sense of hopelessness. Do not repress or shame these feelings. Instead, feel them fully. Cry. Rage. Write. Scream in a pillow, if you must.
Your emotions are not your enemy — they’re your messengers. They’re here to help you let go of what no longer serves you.
Go Inward, Even If It’s Painful
Now is not a time to numb with busyness, substances or toxic positivity. Instead, embrace stillness. Get quiet. Sit with your soul. Ask the deep questions.
Journaling, meditation, breathwork and walking in nature can all help you access it — even when you feel like there’s nothing there.
Get Help (And Do So Judiciously)
Everyone will not have gone through your situation. That’s okay. But don’t cut yourself off completely.
Talk to:
A therapist or spiritual counselor who is trauma-informed
A safe friend who stands in the truth with you without rushing in to “fix” you
Folks who have had spiritual awakenings or soul journeys
Exposure to this truth as is, can be very therapeutic.
Limit Exposure to Outside Noise
The Dark Night will often feature your nervous system in overdrive. Social media, the news, or overstimulation can exacerbate the disconnection. Can you allow yourself to just unplug?
Select inputs that feed your soul:
Calming music
Uplifting books or podcasts
Nature sounds or silence
Develop an environment that feeds your healing, not dulls it.
Trust That There’s a Purpose
Even if it feels like your life is falling apart, believe this truth: something bigger is taking shape. You are not being punished — you are being prepared. All is being stripped away so that your true self can emerge.
Someday, you’ll look back on this chapter of your life, and this will be the turning point — the sacred initiation that aligned you with your soul.
Be Gentle With Yourself
This is not a moment to rush, or to be productive, or to criticize yourself. You are healing on a level most people will never even venture upon.
Rest. Hydrate. Nourish your body. Say no more often. Let yourself be human. Let yourself be tender. You are becoming.
What Comes After the Dark Night?
The Dark Night of the Soul feels like death, but it may be followed by rebirth. And the darkness lifts and you find that:
A stillness and a level of presence beyond what you thought possible.
More of a purpose clarity
A break from an old job or unhealthy relationship
A more profound relationship with your intuition and soul
And you step out with new eyes – you are not seeing the world through fear or ego but love and truth and alignment.
Final Thoughts
The Dark Night of the Soul is one of the most painful, confusing and mystical of all experiences that you could ever experience. It breaks you open so that your light might finally shine.
And if you’re in that place right now, know this:
You are not broken. You are breaking free.
Trust the process. Trust yourself. Have faith in your soul. The night is long but the dawn is coming.
And when that moment comes, you won’t get up as you were, you won’t rise as you were — but you’ll rise as who you are.
Have you ever gone through a Dark Night of the Soul? How did you manage to get through? You can share your story in the comments — your light may help someone else find their way through the darkness. 🌙